My God is so great! He died for the sins of the world, when we are so undeserving. He died so that I could be cleansed of my sins, turn from them, and live for Him. Everyday I have to turn from the world, so that He can shine through me. Some days I mess up... a lot of days I mess up, but Jesus is always there to catch me. What an awesome Savior I serve.
One day Jesus is coming back for me, and all His followers. What a day that will be. I have such mixed emotions about His return. I am ecstatic that I will spend eternity with my Lord. I feel sorrow that many people I love have never excepted Jesus as their Savior. I feel humility, because I don't deserve eternity with my God; I deserve hell. I don't know if God will return in my lifetime, but regardless, when I die I will live with Him. I truly believe Gods return is near. The bible warns of signs of the end times, and many signs have been fulfilled. Jesus' return is imminent and we should all prepare ourselves. I want to strive to live a life worthy of God. I hope everyone who reads this blog knows the love of God, and has excepted it into your lives.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Today was a better day.
I regained my sanity shortly after I posted yesterday. I called Justin crying, and he talked to me and made me feel better. Everything happened at once yesterday. Today I took time to read my bible and pray for wisdom, patience, and peace. Today was a better day.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
My Life?
I just want to scream!!! I am so tired of messes, and whining, and crying, and poop. Right now, I wish I could have a job that didn't involve diapers, or formula, or Dora. I know I'm lucky to be able to stay at home, but I don't feel lucky. I feel trapped. I feel annoyed and alone. I have no outlet, no free time, NO adult conversation. I have a screaming baby and a whiny toddler. I just want to sleep 8 hrs without feeling guilty for asking my husband to help. I want a nanny and a housekeeper. Stopping time would be nice. Then I might actually get something done. I HATE being in this house all day. I want to put my children in daycare and go to work somewhere. Then I feel guilty for wanting that, when some people want to be at home with their children, but can't. Peace, that would be wonderful. An hour to myself so I could read my bible, have prayer time, sleep, read a book... I would pout and whine about it for hours if Adeline wasn't screaming again.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Don't touch my baby!
When Adeline was two weeks old we took her to her pediatrician for her well visit. Everything went well, and we were told she would get her vaccinations at her two month visit, so I had the follow up question, "When can I take her out in public?". My pediatrician gave me a disapproving look as she told me, she would recommend we wait FOUR MONTHS. I nodded politely as I laughed hysterically in my head.
At two weeks, I was already stir crazy and desperately wanting social interaction.
So, a week later we took Adeline to Walmart to get a few essential grocery items. Strange, old ladies flocked to our buggy as we made our way through the store. A few peeked into the carrier without even hesitating to ask permission, but they all restrained themselves from touching her. Then we go to check out. The cashier was a chatty lady(the type who has no comprehension of what is appropriate conversation), who took it upon herself to walk around the bagging area and take Adeline's blanket off of her to touch her face. "She hasn't had her shot!", I spat out. The lady calmly turned to me and said, "Well they better not go near this baby with needles! She's too tiny for shots." I stared at her in shock and quickly moved the buggy out of her reach. Justin and I just stared at each other in disbelief over the clueless woman. Now when we go to Walmart, we use the Snuggly(People think twice before reaching in toward my boobs). It's always the strange people, because normal people have enough common sense to keep their hands to themselves.
At 6 1/2 weeks people still ask to see her, but I am quick to ask them not to touch her. Most people understand, but others pretend like that was not their intention. Our waitress at Logan's was a pretender. The woman had already made us upset by sitting at a table with a group of people(they were not her customers) and talking for 10 minutes and then 20 minutes while she ignored her tables. I guess she was trying to make up for that when she finally got to our table. She started going on and on about Adeline(like she appeared out of nowhere), and leans in to see her, and goes to take her blanket off. "Could you please not touch her. She hasn't had her shots.", I blurt out. The woman's hand freezes, then continues to move the blanket! Then she claims she had no intention of touching her, she just wanted to get a good look at her. Let me make this clear, I don't care what you are planning; do not touch a strangers baby! IT IS RUDE! We left her a $2.00 tip. I told Justin not to leave a dime. The woman didn't earn her hourly pay, much less a tip. So I may be a fool for bringing Adeline into public, but it doesn't give people an excuse to touch her. Do people not respect personal space anymore? Apparently not.
At two weeks, I was already stir crazy and desperately wanting social interaction.
So, a week later we took Adeline to Walmart to get a few essential grocery items. Strange, old ladies flocked to our buggy as we made our way through the store. A few peeked into the carrier without even hesitating to ask permission, but they all restrained themselves from touching her. Then we go to check out. The cashier was a chatty lady(the type who has no comprehension of what is appropriate conversation), who took it upon herself to walk around the bagging area and take Adeline's blanket off of her to touch her face. "She hasn't had her shot!", I spat out. The lady calmly turned to me and said, "Well they better not go near this baby with needles! She's too tiny for shots." I stared at her in shock and quickly moved the buggy out of her reach. Justin and I just stared at each other in disbelief over the clueless woman. Now when we go to Walmart, we use the Snuggly(People think twice before reaching in toward my boobs). It's always the strange people, because normal people have enough common sense to keep their hands to themselves.
At 6 1/2 weeks people still ask to see her, but I am quick to ask them not to touch her. Most people understand, but others pretend like that was not their intention. Our waitress at Logan's was a pretender. The woman had already made us upset by sitting at a table with a group of people(they were not her customers) and talking for 10 minutes and then 20 minutes while she ignored her tables. I guess she was trying to make up for that when she finally got to our table. She started going on and on about Adeline(like she appeared out of nowhere), and leans in to see her, and goes to take her blanket off. "Could you please not touch her. She hasn't had her shots.", I blurt out. The woman's hand freezes, then continues to move the blanket! Then she claims she had no intention of touching her, she just wanted to get a good look at her. Let me make this clear, I don't care what you are planning; do not touch a strangers baby! IT IS RUDE! We left her a $2.00 tip. I told Justin not to leave a dime. The woman didn't earn her hourly pay, much less a tip. So I may be a fool for bringing Adeline into public, but it doesn't give people an excuse to touch her. Do people not respect personal space anymore? Apparently not.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Snot, Naps, Cousins, & Other Random Topics
Nap time has become work. It has never been easy, but now it is like a 3 or 4 hour ordeal. Sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. In the past, I looked forward to naps, and I still do, but the napping never really happens. Coen just sneaks around, and screams at me, and demands books and tv and toys and even Adeline(if he is especially desperate). A few months ago I was able to take naps...but no more. I miss my naps. I miss Coen's naps.
Coen has had a runny nose. The boy hates using a tissue, so he runs from me as snot flies everywhere. I love fall, I really do! It is one of my favorite seasons, but fall also means the start of cold and flu season. Coen is still dealing with pollen (ragweed)allergies, and the constant runny noses, coughs, fevers, grouchiness are just around the corner. Coen always gets a flu shot,(I hope it helps this year) but I really wish they made a cold shot. That would make my life so much easier this fall/winter.
Oh, Regina offered to watch Coen and Adeline tonight so that Justin and I can go to bible study. I am so excited because we haven't been since they took a break for the summer...which I think was May. James always does such a good job making me understand Gods word, the way God intended it to be understood; literally. Coen, Adeline, and I were planning on going over to Regina's this afternoon, but Coen was just too cranky(lack of nap).
My family is finally going up to my sister Christy's on Saturday! My sister has yet to meet Adeline, and its been forever since we've been able to get together. Christy is my older sister who is one of my best friends. This was not always the case. Growing up we seldom got along. My other sister, Brittany and I were pretty evil. We would "borrow" Christy's clothes, listen to her CDs, and bug her when she was with her friends.(Sorry about that Christy) There is a 5 year age difference which seems to shrink as we get older. We are at the same stage is our lives, so that has brought us closer together. I know we'll have a great time this weekend. We have a lot of talking to catch up on.
Our sons are the same age(two months difference), so they have a blast together. I hope as they grow older they continue to be great friends. I have one cousin my age, that I actually saw more than once or twice. She actually was 19 months older than me, and happens to be Brittany's exact age. So when we got together, Brittany and her were best buds, and I was the little sister they were mean to... Totally random rant, I know! what I'm getting at is; I'm glad Coen has a buddy in the family.
They are so funny when they play together. Coen, Layton, and Trey(the other cousin buddy) run from one end one the house to the other, screaming. Sounds annoying, but most of the time, I'm just glad they are having fun together.
I've been especially random, but It feels nice being able to type without Adeline or Coen demanding my attention. And,I think Coen has finally fallen asleep. That only took 2 hours. and now I hear Adeline waking up. Perfect timing.
Coen has had a runny nose. The boy hates using a tissue, so he runs from me as snot flies everywhere. I love fall, I really do! It is one of my favorite seasons, but fall also means the start of cold and flu season. Coen is still dealing with pollen (ragweed)allergies, and the constant runny noses, coughs, fevers, grouchiness are just around the corner. Coen always gets a flu shot,(I hope it helps this year) but I really wish they made a cold shot. That would make my life so much easier this fall/winter.
Oh, Regina offered to watch Coen and Adeline tonight so that Justin and I can go to bible study. I am so excited because we haven't been since they took a break for the summer...which I think was May. James always does such a good job making me understand Gods word, the way God intended it to be understood; literally. Coen, Adeline, and I were planning on going over to Regina's this afternoon, but Coen was just too cranky(lack of nap).
My family is finally going up to my sister Christy's on Saturday! My sister has yet to meet Adeline, and its been forever since we've been able to get together. Christy is my older sister who is one of my best friends. This was not always the case. Growing up we seldom got along. My other sister, Brittany and I were pretty evil. We would "borrow" Christy's clothes, listen to her CDs, and bug her when she was with her friends.(Sorry about that Christy) There is a 5 year age difference which seems to shrink as we get older. We are at the same stage is our lives, so that has brought us closer together. I know we'll have a great time this weekend. We have a lot of talking to catch up on.
Our sons are the same age(two months difference), so they have a blast together. I hope as they grow older they continue to be great friends. I have one cousin my age, that I actually saw more than once or twice. She actually was 19 months older than me, and happens to be Brittany's exact age. So when we got together, Brittany and her were best buds, and I was the little sister they were mean to... Totally random rant, I know! what I'm getting at is; I'm glad Coen has a buddy in the family.
They are so funny when they play together. Coen, Layton, and Trey(the other cousin buddy) run from one end one the house to the other, screaming. Sounds annoying, but most of the time, I'm just glad they are having fun together.
I've been especially random, but It feels nice being able to type without Adeline or Coen demanding my attention. And,I think Coen has finally fallen asleep. That only took 2 hours. and now I hear Adeline waking up. Perfect timing.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Dr. Meanie vs Ms. Mommy
Sometimes my life is so boring that it really drives me crazy. I really do mean crazy. I get irrational, and I obsess and get angry about the littlest things. I know I'm acting crazy, but I can't help myself. It's probably sleep deprivation.
Poor Justin has had to endure my moodiness...did I mention what a good husband he is? He knows I'm crazy too. He knows how to keep his mouth shut though. Sometimes I wish he would say something mean so that I could feel justified to be a meanie. He doesn't though. In fact when I get irrational, he gets painfully silent. Like I said, he's smart.
In other news, Coen continues to break into my room to watch tv during "no tv time". The boy is like a junkie, doing what ever he can to get his fix. In fact he is sneaking around right now... This is why I'm crazy. Wait, maybe it's just pms. That would explain a few things.
Poor Justin has had to endure my moodiness...did I mention what a good husband he is? He knows I'm crazy too. He knows how to keep his mouth shut though. Sometimes I wish he would say something mean so that I could feel justified to be a meanie. He doesn't though. In fact when I get irrational, he gets painfully silent. Like I said, he's smart.
In other news, Coen continues to break into my room to watch tv during "no tv time". The boy is like a junkie, doing what ever he can to get his fix. In fact he is sneaking around right now... This is why I'm crazy. Wait, maybe it's just pms. That would explain a few things.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Hi, my name is Coen, and I'm a Dora-holic.
I hate Dora the Explorer! Okay not really, but I hate that Coen seems to be addicted to Dora. He wakes up in the morning and wants to watch it ALL day. The second Dora starts rapping up the episode, Coen turns to me and demands more Dora. Not only does he demand Dora, but he screams and whines for more Dora. I send him to his room, and he sneaks in to my bedroom to turn the tv on. Dora isn't even on when he does this! Its like he's just trying to make a point to defy me. For the past 2 hours I've been trying to get Coen a nap with no success. He goes to my room and turns the tv on, and then when I spank him(Yes, I spank my children) and send him back to his room, he starts playing with his toys. Of course we have church tonight and he is extremely grouchy... When do the terrible two's end...or do the terrible 2's evolve into the horrifyingly terrible 3's? I hope not.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Catching Up
I feel like its been forever since I've blogged, and so much has happened in the last month. Adeline Elizabeth Fontenot arrived on August 4th. She weighed 5lbs 3ozs, and was 17.5 inches long. She was 6lbs at her 2 week check up and she's getting bigger everyday.
Unfortunately, I had the same heart trouble that I had with Coen and had to have extra help to get it back to a normal rhythm. I only had to stay one extra day in the hospital, so that was a blessing. Justin's parents stayed at the house for a week and a half which was wonderful.
My cardiologist referred me to a specialist at oschners and he recommended that I have an ablation procedure. After talking to the specialist i am confident that i should have the procedure done. so in October i will go back to oschners for the procedure and stay overnight for observation. Hopefully this will fix my problems. It has a 85% success rate once an irregular heart rhythm is induced(so they can see the problem), and less than 2% chance of complications. the procedure is minimally invasive(they'll use a catheter to get to my heart.)
The doctor put me on a new medicine in the hospital so I am not able to breastfeed, which was a major disappointment. I am now off of the medicine, but its a little too late now. I breastfed Coen and was planning to do the same with Adeline. Adeline is on soy formula and has reflex, and I can't help but think that it is because she isn't breastfeeding. I guess I'll never know for sure though. Adeline is doing great at night. Most nights she sleeps from 11 to 5(Coen did not do this until he was 6 months, so I can't complain.)
I have so much to blog about, but I'll leave it at that for now.
Unfortunately, I had the same heart trouble that I had with Coen and had to have extra help to get it back to a normal rhythm. I only had to stay one extra day in the hospital, so that was a blessing. Justin's parents stayed at the house for a week and a half which was wonderful.
My cardiologist referred me to a specialist at oschners and he recommended that I have an ablation procedure. After talking to the specialist i am confident that i should have the procedure done. so in October i will go back to oschners for the procedure and stay overnight for observation. Hopefully this will fix my problems. It has a 85% success rate once an irregular heart rhythm is induced(so they can see the problem), and less than 2% chance of complications. the procedure is minimally invasive(they'll use a catheter to get to my heart.)
The doctor put me on a new medicine in the hospital so I am not able to breastfeed, which was a major disappointment. I am now off of the medicine, but its a little too late now. I breastfed Coen and was planning to do the same with Adeline. Adeline is on soy formula and has reflex, and I can't help but think that it is because she isn't breastfeeding. I guess I'll never know for sure though. Adeline is doing great at night. Most nights she sleeps from 11 to 5(Coen did not do this until he was 6 months, so I can't complain.)
I have so much to blog about, but I'll leave it at that for now.
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